Good Endings: Learning from Powlison about Restoring Joy for the Sexually Broken
As a biblical counselor to women, I regularly find myself in the privileged role of walking alongside those facing sorrow in their lives because of the impact of sin on God’s good gift of sex and sexuality. As a woman who lives in that same fallen world, I have benefitted greatly from the message of hope and renewal found in this honest, compassionate, and eminently practical book. I reread it nearly every year, and I wholeheartedly recommend it for those wanting to understand steps they can take toward Jesus as they seek the renewal only he can give.
David Powlison might be the only author I have ever read whose books I have recommended to friends, family, and counselees without any qualification. Throughout his ministry counseling and equipping counselors, he addressed the hard issues with the right measures of urgency and winsomeness. His short book, Making All Things New: Restoring Joy to the Sexually Broken, is no different.
One of the most unique things about this book is Powlison’s audience. Many books addressing sexual brokenness understandably adopt an either/or approach. There are solid books written to victims of sexual sin, and there are helpful resources for those struggling with a variety of sexual temptations. There are really helpful books on healthy and holy sex in marriage, and books on meaningful, joyful singleness. Powlison takes the road less traveled in addressing the victim, the sinner, the spouse, and the single person (acknowledging along the way that most of us fit more than one of those categories in different seasons of our lives). It’s rather remarkable he attempted such an ambitious goal, and more remarkable still that he succeeded so thoroughly, undoubtedly because he wrote with Christ-dependent humility and thoughtful dependence on God’s Word.
Powlison’s summary of Scripture’s message on sexuality captures this approach and highlights a core theme of the book: gospel renewal is for all of us.
“In sum, the Lord has a highly positive view of sex. He has a highly negative view of immorality. And he has a deep concern both for the consensually immoral and for the victims of the criminally immoral. He has more mercy than we can imagine. Of course, there are not two gospels, one for sinners and one for sufferers! There is the one gospel of Jesus Christ, who came to make saints of all kinds of sinner-sufferers and sufferer-sinners, whatever our particular configuration of defections and distresses.” (p. 19)
A second strength of Making All Things New is how it works like powerful camera lens, able to capture the wide panoramic foundational issues and background context, while also proving capable of zeroing in on practical details with focus that makes its counsel livable in the day-to-day.
This focus from wide to close-up is at its best in the middle chapters of the book, each considering renewal from a different angle. An encouraging example of this is in chapter four, where Powlison considers the timeframe, pacing, and duration of renewal. A key takeaway: because renewal is lifelong, repentance is a lifestyle. There is no “one and done” method, no “shock and awe” version of recovery from sexual addiction or healing from sexual abuse. Powlison fleshes out the theological concept of progressive sanctification practically. He says, “Sanctification is a direction,” and wisely helps strugglers and sufferers be intolerant of despair and lust while also being patient with their own growth and healing by placing their trust in their Lord step by step. He memorably quotes Luther to drive in this point:
This life is not righteous, but growth in righteousness; it is not health, but healing; not being, but becoming; not rest, but exercise; we are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished, but is going on; this is not the end, but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified. (68)
As a biblical counselor to women, I regularly find myself in the privileged role of walking alongside those facing sorrow in their lives because of the impact of sin on God’s good gift of sex and sexuality. As a woman who lives in that same fallen world, I have benefitted greatly from the message of hope and renewal found in this honest, compassionate, and eminently practical book. I reread it nearly every year, and I wholeheartedly recommend it for those wanting to understand steps they can take toward Jesus as they seek the renewal only he can give.
3 Reasons Why I Appreciate Esther’s Smith’s, “A Still and Quiet Mind: 12 Strategies for Changing Unwanted Thoughts”
Biblical counselor Esther Smith’s 2022 book, “A Still and Quiet Mind: 12 Strategies for Changing Unwanted Thoughts,” has been my top recommended resource to counselees since it came out. Here are three reasons why.
When we are having a helping conversation, I don’t think shared experience is a prerequisite. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 is instructive to me on this point, with its hugely meaningful description of our God, “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble.” That said, it is also true that God often chooses to redeem our suffering by using the lessons he has taught us in it to bless a fellow sister or brother in Christ. Such is the case with Esther Smith as she manages the somewhat difficult balancing act of writing from her own experience without focusing on herself.
One of this book's strengths is that it acknowledges its limitations. It can’t be a comprehensive do-it-yourself manual for everyone struggling with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or post-traumatic stress. What it can do, and does well, is say, “Here are 12 things to try if what you are doing isn’t working.” My counselees have found different chapters helpful but have all been meaningfully helped by multiple strategies offered.
In the counseling room, I often see that one of my primary tasks is helping reduce the distance between what a woman believes is biblical and what she feels is practical. Biblical and practical, properly understood, are the same thing. We’ve been given everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Smith’s emphasis throughout the book on change occurring within the context of a relationship with Christ closes that perceived gap for people in very meaningful ways.
As followers of Christ, we know that we are to seek the transformation of our minds. For those who struggle with unwanted thoughts, A Still and Quiet Mind points to helpful ways to do just that in the context of our relationship with Jesus. I’ll end with a favorite quote, “Telling ourselves to think something different is inadequate. Encountering God and experiencing who he is in our lives has the power to change everything.”